Fr. Don’s Weekly Letter ~ 4 May 2025

Dear Good People of Saint Bernadette,

My participation in the national Vaishnava Hindu—Christian Dialogue last week got me thinking. You may have heard me speak of it at Masses I presided over last weekend.

The topic was about spirituality and religious practice, in particular, what the Hindus referred to as “SBNRs,” those who self-identify as Spiritual But Not Religious. It is, of course, something that cuts across all religions and groups of society, but the Hindus seem particularly worried.

There was a time when you would hear Jewish people often refer to themselves as “culturally Jewish” but not practicing, and it would always seem somewhat shocking to me. Today, we have a growing culture of “cultural Catholics” (and, apparently, cultural Hindus) who identify as Catholics without the commitment to practice the faith. Maybe that explains how it is possible that, of about registered 4,100 families at Saint Bernadette, we have only about 1,300 who have given anything to the offertory at all during the past year. Registered, but not present.

Discussion in the dialogue was rich and fruitful. There can be, really, only two reasons why people can feel absolved of practicing their religion. Either they don’t believe it is really real, or they feel that others (usually clergy) are the ones to whom the practice of religion falls.

This could be for a number of reasons. First, the clericalism of the Church which gives an over-emphasis on the role of the priest and discounts the value and importance of lay people is growing in the Church. Pope Francis talked about this a lot. Lay people are too often talked down to, or made to feel unworthy to even be sinners in the Church. I have written so often: the reason we have a church is because we ARE sinners. Together we get better, helping each other with the crosses we carry. You can’t do it alone.

If you feel you have to do it alone, it is too easy to throw your hands up in the air and give up.

Another reason we considered was the group that might be called “Religious But Not Spiritual.” Having never received the proper formation in the faith, people just don’t know what they don’t know and it is too easy, then, to let go of something that might be your key to salvation. If the poll taken ten years ago is true where people said they decided to leave the Church at the average age of 12, it is probably likely true that those who don’t have greater knowledge of Church teachings—or even who God is—could make an uninformed decision to abandon a gift that they have never opened.

Another reason is because the Church can seem hypocritical, demanding burdens that they, themselves, are unwilling to carry or assist other in carrying, especially where abuse has been a part of peoples’ stories.

When people tell me they don’t believe in God, I ask them to describe this God they don’t believe in. Reality: literally every time I ask this question I affirm them in their lack of faith, because I wouldn’t believe in that god, either.

The best thing I gathered from the Hindu dialogue was offered by a Hindu priest: he said that, in the attempt to preserve and repeat a profound spiritual experience, the leader of the community of believers (maybe the person who had the experience) tries to create a context so that all believers might have that experience. What results is ritual, and ritual becomes systematized as religion. Spirituality and religion are not either/or. They are a part of the same mystery and seek the beauty of the spiritual life.

SO. I have decided to schedule some gatherings at Saint Bernadette called SBSNRs: Let’s Talk. I have scheduled three Tuesday nights in the Bradican Room, 7–8:30pm, on May 20, 27 and June 3. If you know any SBNRs please contact them and let them know that they should be here. There will be NO judgment. SBNRs should not be treated as outsiders! They are our brothers and sisters and probably just need to be heard. We should talk about how the Church has failed in the work of youth/adult formation in the past and set a course based on the days to come, not the days behind us. Come with your stories to share, and your optimism of what we might be able to accomplish together as the many and varied members of the one Body of Christ.

The Lord be with you.